Skip to main content

Thanks for making me a fighter...

As I was unloading the dishwasher this morning I had this thought:

"Are you the type of person who
sharpens knives or buys new?"

I know. These are the types of thoughts I frequently have. It makes you wonder, doesn't it?

My dreams lately have been off the charts freaky. I've always had really colorful and wild dreams. I can awake and relay every detail about my dreams: colors, smells, what song was playing, etc. It's a very animated event, my dreams. A few nights ago I woke up in the middle of making little smooching sounds. Why, you ask? Because I was dreaming about an adorable baby elephant and I was kissing him! And just before that, I had awakened myself by choking on a giggle because a fat mermaid was walking out of the ocean. No, really.

Last night I dreamt I was in a court room and someone was all in a tizzy. What other option did I have, to restore order in the court, but to smack this woman in the head? The only problem is that I woke up to find my hand on my husband's head, with the realization that I had just hit him! Thankfully he loves me a lot and didn't even remember the incident when I mentioned it this morning. Man, I must pack quite the punch....

I have banana bread in the oven. It better be good.

Yesterday I had an all morning ordeal at the baby doctor to insure my blood sugar levels are on track and not topsy turvy. I was a little anxious about the fasting (who tells a pregnant woman she can't eat for over twelve hours?! Seriously?) and the multiple blood draws (four in all), not to mention the 10 ounces of obnoxious, super-sweet, neon-orange beverage I was forced to chug in five minutes or less (what is this, a Sunday night youth group challenge?!) But I sucked it up (literally, ha!) and came out a stronger woman for it all. That and the fact that I realized this is just one of many, many times when what is best for my child is not always going to be the prettiest walk in the park for me. Yet another lesson learned. There are so many!

I'm having a baby in roughly 8 weeks. C-R-A-Z-Y! I hope this gives me a sort of free pass to be incoherent and slightly unstable for a little while. Because I kind of am. You understand. I'm sure there is something else random and disturbing I could post about, but I am (thankfully for you) drawing a blank.

Until the next time... stay classy.


  1. I hope I have fun dreams like that farther along in MY pregnancy. *sojealous*

    And that picture makes me laugh. HA.

    EIGHT WEEKS?!?!?! *dies* SO close laura. And what's fun is that will be just before I found out what my little booger is!

  2. I hope you do, too. Then I will feel less scary. :)

    Haha - isn't it the best?!

    I know! It's just pure insanity! Can't wait until we can sit and drink chai and snuggle our babies! :)

  3. Mmmm, banana bread sounds SO GOOD right now! Congratulations on your sweet little babe-- I can't wait to hear updates over the next 8 weeks.


  4. Love it!!! I love reading your blogs!!!

  5. Beth ~ That banana bread has saved my life the past few days! It's incredibly delectable. What a brilliant thing to be able to do with nasty ol' bananas! And thank you! I'm sure there will be much baby-ness in the future! (As if I could help myself!)

    Chrissy ~ Aww, you're so sweet! Thank you for reading - and for being such a great friend!!!!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

{ I've Heard the Whisper ... }

Nobody likes to sit in the dark.
That’s what I tell him as I flip on the light so he can clearly see his granola bar, handful of Froot Loops and his Star Wars vitamins.
No one wants darkness.  It’s heavy and depressing.  Oppressing. It feels sneaky and devious. It can feel scary and hopeless.  It’s a wet blanket on the warm fire of a sun-filled day. It snuffs out all the hope and brilliance, ideas and dreams, that you had during the day. In the dark it all shifts. It all feels worn and tired, old and pointless; you feel lost in a forest of trees with eyes and faces and arms and you wonder why you ever thought you could find your way out or change the world.
The darkness can be such a storyteller of lies.
The darkness can be such a sanctuary for the Teller of all the lies. 
And the darkness can be banished... just. like. that.
“Let there be light.”

God proved in the very beginning, before elephants and man and oceans and babies... He proved first that beyond creating, beyond teaching leaves …

Tale as old as time: a different sort of review...

Is there any more beautiful notes than the first few tones of the dramatic prologue to Beauty and the Beast? When Disney released its animated version in 1991, my little ten year old heart was completely enraptured. Enchanted. I am never not moved by the overview of the roses, the squinting through brambles to see the castle aching and looming large against the sky.

Last night I swung by RedBox and picked up the newest version, since I'm like the only person on the planet who hasn't seen it, yet. I was ready for some uninterrupted girl time - just me and my mini Ben & Jerry's. I couldn't get the kids to bed fast enough (which is ironic, because I allowed them to stay up later than normal - the things we do as mothers that never make sense to anyone). I had my evening planned out and suddenly I had unending patience and energy. Funny how self-care works.

I settled deeper into my couch, held the ice cream close and got ready for an evening free of thinking and lists …

Your Love is Fierce...

I was so angry. So painfully, gut-wrenchingly, angry.
I didn’t know that’s what it was.
January was exhausting, sickly, draining. It clipped fast on the heels of December and holidays and before I knew it, what should have been a day to celebrate my beautiful niece, was a reminder that she wasn’t here. And I was a mess all day. Cried about everything. I had a purple heart on the calendar and I was destroyed.
I went to choir practice the following Wednesday. I usually always want to go. This week, I didn’t. I felt shattered and exposed and I knew that any song, every song, would set me off. I knew I needed to go, something deep in my spirit knew, but I was so apprehensive. One chorus. One bridge. One well-meaning repeat and I would be undone. I had been breaking and re-breaking in a thousand different ways since October. I was falling apart in every direction.
I had to leave during practice once that night. Went into the ladies room and sobbed so loud, before I could stop myself. My grief …