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When you're gone, I wanna go, too...

I feel like I'm all a'flutter. Not only did I get to have an awesome lunch with a sweet friend (and got turtle cheesecake to go!) and receive a belated (and very awesome) birthday gift, I was able to get my hair trimmed and I understand it's "just hair" but when it's bad, it's about the only thing that matters. At least to a girl. I don't know how guys feel about this. I doubt they get as emotionally involved as we do when it comes to such things. Which is probably a good thing, because if my husband ever allowed a "bad hair day" to wreck his mood, I'd probably smack him. It's amazing how we make certain things permissible for some and not all. Or something.

To top off this fantastic day of sunshine, complete with a Yankee candle that is scenting up my house with fresh cut lilacs and a puppy (well, an 80+ lb. "puppy") snoring away on the deck (no, really) this day is pretty intoxicating. Plus, not only did my hairstylist turn my bad hair day into a good one, she also proclaimed I was "cute" as a pregnant person and her co-worker deemed I was "all belly". I wanted to make them my BFF's and buy them iced chai tea lattes for being awesome.

When it comes to complimenting a pregnant woman (especially a nine month pregnant woman) one of the best things you can say is how she doesn't look like she's as far along as she is or that the only weight she has gained is right in the middle and is all baby. Trust me... they will love you forever if you say such things. I'm tempted to frame these thoughts from those around me and tack them up around my bathroom mirror. I'd even use different colors of gel pens and maybe buy some awesome stickers. And glitter. I'd probably douse them all in glitter.

With all that said, the worse possible things you can say are obvious, but apparently aren't obvious enough, because some of ya'll have been caught saying it. For shame! Go find a mouth governor and come back to us when you can say something nice about our changing forms that doesn't come out this way: "Your butt looks so much bigger!" or "Oh my goodness, you certainly have a belly on you!" or "Look at that pooch!" (Unless you're talking about my dog, this is unacceptable. "Pooch" is never attractive. You should know this!) Also, please refrain from saying things that imply we are "showing" too early or that we already look 20 months pregnant when we're only 20 weeks.

And in some cases, since everyone is different (you know this, right?!) not everyone is going to "grow" at the same rate or in the same way. So, please hold yourself back from saying anything that implies we're doing something wrong or that something must be wrong with the growth of our baby because we're "not showing yet" when your cousin so-and-so did x, y and z. We don't care. We are not her. We can't relate. And we can't control what happens or what doesn't. But you should know that already, shouldn't you?

Anyway, that's my rant today. Mostly because some of my friends have been subjected to insensitive comments by those who never learned the precious reminder from Thumper's momma in Bambi...

There. See? It really is that easy. Really. Think before you speak. I understand it takes a little practice, but trust me - it's well worth it! Besides, you never know when your well meaning comment will wreck someone's day. Kind of like bad hair. It'd be better if we all took some time to think before we speak. It's much better to be a blessing than a curse.

And with that, I'm hopping off the soapbox. :)

Enjoy your day! It's a good one!


  1. THREE CHEERS!! THANK YOU for posting! Love you, love this, and am now going to post it on facebook. *runsaway*

  2. I love that you brought your rant back to Thumper's mother! Very good advice :)

  3. Jamie ~ You're hilarious. And you're welcome. ;)

    Beth ~ My own mother has always quoted that portion of the movie. It's in my head for life!

  4. ok, the hair thing I totally understand...It can wreck your entire day!
    And seriously, who says those kinds of things to a pregnant woman?? Obviously not a very tactful person! Love the advice, and I'm sure your hairdresser and her friend were being completely honest when they said how adorable and GREAT you look! Pregnant women are stunning... :)

  5. It's sad but true the control we give our hair. :P Silly girls!

    It's hard to believe, but I've heard all sorts of things (someone made the "pooch" comment to me early on in my pregnancy!)... Sometimes people mean well, but their words just come out all wrong.

    And I'm with you - I think pregnant women are adorable (even though I personally feel less and less cute as the days go by!)

  6. AMEN. I couldn't believe what people were saying to me when I was pregnant with Noah! "Wow, you've always been so skinny... it's weird to see you so... big." and "Oh my- you're huge!" and my all time favorite (after asking my Aunt if she needed help in the kitchen) "Ha- I don't think you could fit!"

    COME. ON. As if we're not aware that we're totally bigger than we were 9 months ago. People, get a filter... please.

  7. I think it's possibly because folks typically don't see pregnancy weight as "official" weight gain... while for the mother-to-be, she is very aware of every additional pound, even though we all know it's necessary for baby! It's hard to not be self-conscious about it because for us it's still weight gain... but for everyone else, it's just "baby". :)

    I dreamt last night that I had these MASSIVE arms that were short and stubby with fat. It was sick. I woke up and felt my arms and breathed a sigh of relief. Haha!!!!!

  8. So, I was reading through my blog updates and somehow missed this one...I just have to add one more to the list of things to never say to a mother to be....I was due on Dec 25th and was told by some meany that I ruined my kid's life, boy did that make me feel bad. Of course, I do laugh about it now.

  9. Oh my goodness, someone actually said that?! What is wrong with people?! My birthday is December 28th and I've done just fine. Ha!

  10. Some people just don't think, that's right you have a December birthday...just makes you love Christmas time even more!!! It's like a month long celebration for all of my favorite people: )


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