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Showing posts from June, 2010

I want you to need me...

There is something supremely satisfying about getting a baby to sleep.
There is also something about days when it all works that makes me all giddy and tingly and anxious to see what Joel's brothers and sisters will look like. Will they do what he did? Will they turn their cheek up towards my lips while lying against my shoulder, silently begging for more kisses? Will they grin wildly and cause my heart to flip flop a little every morning as the sun begins to peek between the blinds, when I'm changing their diaper and cooing, "Good morning, baby! Good morning, sweetie heart!"?
The other day I was trying to clip Joel's fingernails. You can probably guess where this is going. He had scratched himself, yet again, and I was determined to find the offending nail. He was squirming. It wasn't the best time to be doing what I was doing, but I was determined to eradicate this nasty little nuisance that was hurting my baby. And so I went in to trim and he jerked…

Let me have you just one moment more...

It's not that late, but it feels late. Any time after little britches goes to sleep, I suddenly feel it all creep in on me. It starts low in my back, probably due to the fact that for nine months any abdominal strength I possessed was eaten away. I don't know where it went.
All I know is that it had to go, it seems, to make room for the 7 lb., 14 oz. mass of my son and it wasn't returned once he was delivered. So, my back aches. When I sit, when I lay down, when I pick him up out of the crib or put him on a blanket on the floor to wiggle around. It's constant. But, then I think of how I gave birth without any drugs and I'm honestly impressed with myself all over again. Plus, childbirth makes everything less painful and dramatic.
I told my husband today that the past 2+ months feels like one really long day. I feel like it started on March 22nd when I got my first contraction at 1 o'clock in the afternoon and then it was a whirlwind including a hospital…