Today has been one of those days. Last night during small group (we are studying Philippians by Matt Chandler) and he said that there are highs and lows "... and sometimes there's just a Wednesday." That middle of the road, nothing special, everything blah: Wednesday.
Except it's Thursday. But it's a Wednesday.
My son learned to officially crawl yesterday. It was an awesome moment and (of course) I had the video camera at the ready. This morning he woke up with more momentum than before, as if he had been working out the kinks of the maneuver last night and was now raring to go. He's in the kitchen before I can blink, chewing on the area rug. He's in my book basket within two seconds of me moving him away from the book basket. He has my magazines in his mouth and recently wrapped Christmas presents crunching and tearing beneath his chubby paws.
I don't mind chasing him. I really don't. I'm happy to be at home with him and I'm excited to see him becoming such a big boy before my eyes. But even the good things can become hard things on Wednesdays. Or Thursdays. Mix in a baby who just discovered he can own his world a little more with every nudge of the knee with a Mom who is sick and hasn't been sleeping and who probably needs to sleep all day, along with a trip to Walmart, back strain and a Dad who won't be home until late. Oh, and despite the fact that baby is basically the Tasmanian Devil (but so much cuter and less annoying), he is also sick.... which means medicine and vapor treatments. Plus there's always the puke. Always.
It's not even 3 o'clock yet and I don't know whether to laugh ironically or burst into tears. ONLY 3 p.m.?! You mean the meal I just fed my son is not the last of the day? That I have one more time of highchair antics and medicine and vaporizing and then bathtime and more playtime, which will mean more puke time and then, finally, bedtime? I fear it will never come. And then feel slightly shamed for my whining, considering that little man is now playing contentedly on his blanket. What a little prince.
Before I sat down here I was fixing up a pan of enchiladas to freeze. I've never made a meal with the intent to freeze (i.e: plan ahead) in my life. No, seriously. I haven't. I have friends who cook and cook before their new baby arrives, for instance. Me? I mean, you're supposed to do that? Huh. Weird. I had my husband order pizza and we were lucky enough to receive some meals from sweet friends and family. Anyway, I figured I'd make a pan of enchiladas because we had the meat, it was going to go to waste and needed to be cooked up. We have lots of leftovers to eat up, so making a meal for us to eat right now didn't make sense. Freezing, for a first, did.
So I'm browning meat and baby is getting into things. So I'm stopping and moving and cleaning up messes on the carpet and going back to the meat. All the while my back is screaming at me every time I dare to move in any direction. Then it comes to putting the enchiladas together and cheese is everywhere and I keep dropping the meat on the counter instead of on the tortilla and I just wanted to bawl. You know, cry some of those big, fat, dumb tears because I'm spilling the milk and I haven't had a shower and I just want my back to stop hurting. And why does it hurt? Because I love my son and I was swinging him around wildly this morning. Smart.
And in the midst of a pretty involved pity party, I thought of our Small Group lesson from last night... of how Paul learned to be content in all of his crazy and various circumstances (he had way more lows than I ever have, that's for sure!). And I said aloud, "Could I learn to be content right now?" as I slopped more meat anywhere but on the tortilla. And I sarcastically said back to my self, "Yeah, sure, if I wanted to." And kind of smiled at my own nastiness to myself.
Could I learn to be content even if the day wasn't going as smoothly as I felt it needed to go? Could I be thankful for my baby and that his puking was just because he's a baby and not because of a serious illness? Could I learn to be content that hubby will be home later, but he will be home eventually. Could I find some sort of joy in the remainder of my day instead of thinking how great a good cry would feel? Could I be thankful for the extra meat we have that caused me to make a meal for a rainy day? I mean, how awesome that I actually have too much food. How awesome that I have a baby who is developing and can be under my feet in no time... and how fantastic is it that he wants to be there because of me? Me, who is standing above him all sighing and eye-rolling. Nice.
I just stopped to take some video of Joel playing with one of his toys. It's a little set of musical bongos that we bought for him when I was pregnant. He just figured out that if he keeps beating them, they will keep playing (that annoying) music. I had to smile. Could I learn to be content in my circumstances of a Wednesday on a Thursday?
Yeah,... I could if I wanted to.
"Not that I am speaking of being in need,
for I have l e a r n e d in
whatever situation I am to be content..."
~ Philippians 4:11