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Showing posts from 2011

Even then...

What do we do when God's gifts don't come to us pretty?
I find it difficult to tolerate negativity and ungra tefulness. It's my pet peeve, if you want to call it that. It makes my soul twist inside of me and my heart literally constricts. I get that, "Something is wrong here." feeling. And I know what it is - because complaining about our lot is complaining that God isn't good enough. That He failed us. And if our God is one who fails... where does that leave us? Doesn't it mean that we then try to order and drive things all on our own?
"Never be sympathetic with the soul whose case makes you come to the conclusion that God is hard. God is more tender than we can conceive." ~ Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
When I hurry to grab my gratitude journal and jot down something Joel said or did, or how a moment just came together unexpectedly and perfectly, it can feel kind of crazy. I'm giving thanks for my son's laughter? For t…

Mother of All

I thought of something this morning as I put my toddler down for a rare (but obviously needed) morning nap.
Mothering has absolutely nothing to do with pretty. It has nothing to do with things like Pinterest (and if you don't know about Pinterest, well, it's essentially everything beautiful, organized, clever and basically better than anything you are possibly doing right now, all in one mind-boggling space). And I'm gleefully addicted to the crafts and the sweater combinations and the perfect paint colors for that someday dream home. But if you're not careful, it can cut into your heart and make you feel that everything around you is too simple and everything you do is too base and everything you feel is too novel.
The past few mornings I have awakened early. I had originally set my alarm and then about thirty minutes before it's set to go off, I turn it off. I figure I'll wake up when I'm ready. Well, I have noticed a trend this week: God has let me…

Season's Greetings

It's kind of funny. And when I say, "funny" I don't mean, "Ha, ha."
We just came off the thankful-high of November. Everyone on Facebook was posting status updates on how grateful they were for this, that and the other and then, bam! Hello, December. Know what happens in December?
People get MEAN.
Suddenly it’s too much to return a smile in the checkout line. It’s common and somehow justified to pull out in someone vs. waiting your turn. Everyone is in a hurry, impatient, too busy to notice the humanity they are trampling over, ramming carts into and generally, ignoring. I stopped by our local Walmart this past week just as two bus loads of children were being accompanied by local church members to meet their needs. Wanna know how many of those people were impatient, pushy and rude to me and my son, even as they were surely trying to set an example of God's love to these community children they had taken shopping?
It’s just plain shameful. And we joke…

Happily (Part Deux)

Joel loves to read. Well, considering he’s 20 months old, what I mean is he loves his books. He has always had this thing where he’ll point at the pictures and then expectantly wait for you to tell him what it is. We are trying to get him to tell us what he is looking at and we are slowly getting there. He’ll be sitting off in his favorite corner, “reading” away and I will hear him say, “Duck!” And I will glance over and indeed, he’s pointing at a duck, but he’s not looking at the picture. He’s looking at me to affirm him. To tell him, “Good boy! That’s right! That’s a duck!” And I do. And he’s appeased and turns the page. But he doesn’t move on until Mom gives him a little confirmation and praise.
When he did this a few weeks ago, I had to smile. So like a man.
And I don’t say that with any malice or judgement. I married a man. A good, country, God-fearing man. And I love him. But I am learning more and more how the man works. How they think, what makes them tick, what…

Happily (Part One)

A few weeks ago I was working out and the song, “That’s How You Know” from the movie, “Enchanted” came on. (Yes, I realize my workout playlist needs some help.) I was in a happy frame of mine, both from the wonderful endorphins from working out, the euphoric pregnancy feelings that trail along with the beloved 2nd Trimester and feeling high on life. Grateful for the babies and the man.
And as I listened to the words of this kind of silly, full-on fairy-tale lyrical madness, I became more and more aware of what a lie it all was. The words sing of how you will know if a man loves you. How he’ll “send you yellow flowers when the sky is grey” or how he’ll prepare a “private picnic by the fire’s glow” just for the two of you and on and on and about taking you dancing just so he can be close to you. Oh come on. If that’s how we, as women, are supposed to know that we are “loved”, then I’d say many of our men come up short.
I love fairy tales. I always have. I was ecstatic when Disney…

My Choice is You

Yesterday we had a meltdown because of a Buzz Lightyear sippy cup.
It was in the dishwasher along with other dirty items and desperate little hands couldn’t get to it. This resulted in a full-blown tantrum and mommy using her outside voice (ie: yelling) and utilizing both the first and middle name.
And as I consoled him with the still clean Woody, Rex and Jessie sippy cup, filled quickly with cool water, I had to smile a bit as I went back to loading the dishwasher. Sometimes it’s easy to look at what I do on a daily basis and just sigh. So much of it is trivial. So much of it is just.... little. No, don’t touch that, it’s Mommy’s. No, don’t touch; hot! Yes, that’s a cow! No, that’s not a pig, that’s a horsey! By the time my husband gets home, it’s really no wonder that I can’t form a sentence that doesn’t have to do with animal sounds or what Joel ate that day.
But then my perspective changed as I tried to search out the bigger lesson. To get past the annoyance and frustration…