Skip to main content


Showing posts from July, 2011


Yesterday, four weeks ago to the day, I sat near the back of our church's sanctuary, crying through every praise song, every prayer. The sermon entitled, "The Valley" was appropriate and so perfectly timed that I knew it was God. It had to be God. I sat and twisted my fingers and took huge gulps of air, blinking away tears as I stared at the ceiling lights. I couldn't keep the salt in. The day before I had suspected a miscarriage while at a friend's wedding and this morning, this Sunday on the 26th of June: I was certain. Once life, but now...
The message focused heavily on Ezekial 37 and the talk and explanation of the valley of dry bones made my heart ache and pound. And it gave me hope at the same time as only God's Word can do. It is God who gives life. Who pumps the heart, pushes the blood,... blows the breath
The Greek word, Pneuma, was presented by our Pastor and I felt the ears of my heart stir, perk, hang on for dear life. The word meaning, &…

The Olden Days

There's nothing like having to do without a modern convenience to get you thinking of "way back when" and how in the world people possibly existed without DVR's, frozen pizzas and Netflix. We're having a smoldering week in Indiana (as are other areas, I realize) and on Saturday our air conditioner's fan motor died. It was a little warm in our three bedroom house and I may or may not have whined. Just a bit.
Last week on our way home from vacation, we visited the birthplace of Abraham Lincoln and snapped pictures of the teeny tiny one room cabin, wondering how a family of four lived within its walls. But they did. Somehow. And even without modern conveniences they somehow loved, learned of God and one of them became a very notable, honorable man of integrity who briefly led this country. You don't have to have much to become more.
Aaron mentioned this to me as I fanned myself and packed a bag to escape to the cool environment of my parent's hous…

Little Things to Love, Over and Over Again

I think that's possibly the longest subject line I've ever had.
Because today is the anniversary of the first date with my now husband, I'm a little wispy eyed and dreamboatish. Just a little. I remember the nerves and the polo shirt he wore. I remember how I didn't want to go, how I was so set on eating and going home and being rid of this good ol' country boy who was that and nothing else. In near tears (or were there actual tears?) I called one of my best friends, Holly, on the drive to the restaurant, "I don't want to go! He's just going to be stupid like all the rest of them!"
I was deliciously wrong.
I knew I was wrong the second I wheeled my cabernet wine shaded Volkswagen Passat into a free parking space, one over from a shiny, impressive looking deep blue Ford F-150. He was sitting there, waiting on me and his profile alone made my heart drop down to my toes and then flood my face with heat and possibility. We got out of our respecti…

Everyday Clean

We just got back from our little family vacation to the Smoky Mountains. It was beautiful and fresh and it was wonderful to escape from the daily work, the dishes, the trips to Walmart. It was beautiful to just be with my boys exclusively. But it was good to get home and it was marvelous to use my own shampoo vs. what was provided at the hotel. I couldn't believe how different it felt just to use what was familiar. I was thankful for that.
The past couple of months, I have focused heavily on gratefulness. I'm typically a glass-half-full kind of girl, but then things knock the wind out of me, tear my heart out and leave it different than it will ever be again, it's easy for me to fall into somewhere less lovely. Somewhere depressing. I was concerned that it was "in my head" and expressed many times to one of my best friends that I was scared... what if I was doing this to myself? The bloodwork came back a-ok which left me sitting on the floor at my coffee …