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Showing posts from June, 2013

It lasted forever and ended so soon...

It’s morning and it’s already one of “those” days.  He’s on the couch, I’m standing over him and I’m wondering if the neighbors can hear my crazy leaking out of our pristine little house.
“I will not talk to you when you’re yelling.” 
I tell him this... as I’m yelling.
I immediately feel the irony and the chastising and the failure.  I want to crawl into a hole, hide somewhere by myself where I can sob and hug my knees and chew my fingers down.  But there’s nowhere to go, no one else around to take over.  
I get a card that same afternoon from a bestie.  The front says, “Motherhood isn’t for wimps.”  And I want to crumble and fight and bawl because it is so freaking hard and I’m all busted up today and I know I need to suck it up, be the adult, be the parent, but I’m so done.  And it’s 10 a.m.  
And inside she graces me with what we all need to hear on those days, “You may not feel like you’re making a difference, but you are.”  And I think... maybe.  But not today.  Today I’m just screwin…