Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from November, 2013

God is a refuge...

Sometimes I feel like I want to run away.  Or lock myself in a room so I can't be found for awhile.  But then I think, isn’t my hiding an indication that deep down what I really want is to be discovered?  That I want someone to dig me out from where I’m hiding at the back of my closet and say hey, why are you here and hey, come let me give you a hug and hey, why don’t you tell me why you feel alone?  

It’s a funny thing to be with people all day long and still feel alone.  I think that’s part of being a primary caregiver to small children.  I had a friend recently, who is single, tell me that after keeping a friend’s child for a day she was ready to lose her mind.  She said, “If I had to have one more child-like conversation I thought I was going to go mad.”  She laughed and said she had a renewed respect for those who stay home and I felt justified.  Validated.  Understood just a little bit.
I have been struggling with burnout.  Not a little.  Not just on the fringes.  Not just bec…

Songs not about Santa...

We weren’t even there yet and I was critically telling myself it was a bad idea.  

It was late, they were tired, I was tired.  But the days of the week were running low, slipping through the narrow funnel of time-left and all-the-things-still-to-do.  With Daddy out of town and Mommy running low on energy and patience and everything else.  A heavy still-to-do list in my pocket and I was pretty much thinking this outing was doomed from the start.  

We had jetted off to Target the night before and it had been a near fiasco.  And here we were, another night after dinner and out running around in the early evening dark.  We slowed and allowed eight deer to pass.  I would probably hit a deer tonight.  That was my thought.  That would just be whipped cream on the top of a spilled peppermint mocha right now.  I had nearly had a heart attack and an immediate ugly-cry at Target when I feared I had lost my keys.  

Just.  Stay.  Home.  That's what I should have done.

But I had things to pick-up a…